Winter Justifications

 

November

This is not technically winter, I know, but it should be. It’s cold. We begrudgingly turn on the heat mid-month, and keep cranking it up as the days go by.

“It’s not that bad,” I say. “It’s only November.”

December

It’s cold. But there are occasional days where the snow melts before it creates anything more than a light dusting of white, and that’s enough to keep me going.

“Maybe it will be a late winter this year,” I hopefully declare.

Then I realize it’s not even winter yet. Luckily, the month is busy enough that I don’t really realize how many layers I am piling on.

January

The snow pants and big winter boots come out of the basement.

“Okay, so January is the coldest month,” I say. “But it’s the last of the bad stuff! February is short and March is practically spring.”

I sleep with my socks on and wake up a 6 a.m. to utter darkness. It is -30 outside, not factoring in windchill. All of my Facebook friends from Southern Ontario are complaining about how cold -10 is. Sometimes, Toronto declares a state of emergency due to cold and I laugh and laugh and laugh and then cry a bit.

February

February is not actually that short. It’s only two days less than most other months. And it’s still freaking cold. What was I thinking?!

March

There is still snow on the ground. March is not spring.

April

Flurries. Flurries, flurries, flurries. Why do we live here? Why don’t we move to Bermuda? We could bring the cats and get a hammock.

May

Guess what? It’s still frigid. But now it rains, too, along with sleet and snow. Sometimes it’s hot and sunny and everyone in town runs around in flip-flops and shorts screaming, “THIS IS SO UNSEASONABLE! I BET WE’RE GOING TO GET MORE SNOW!”

All of my Facebook friends from Southern Ontario are showing off their gardens and patio drinking sessions. I hate them.

June

The blackflies descend and we forget about the past six months.

July

Summer is awesome! How did we survive without it?

“I wish summer lasted as long as winter,” I mope.

August

Summer is leaving, and we are clinging to it as desperately as we can, clawing it back with all our might, quaking in fear of long underwear and window scrapers.

September

I start bargaining.

“This is the year we’ll try cross-country skiing,” I plead. “Maybe I’ll get skates! Just don’t let it get to -30.”

October

All of the leaves fall off of the trees at once. We don’t rake because we know it will snow the minute we clean up the yard.

November

This is not technically winter, I know, but it should be…

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Comments

  1. Catherine says:

    Love this post! I think about you up there when it’s 50 degrees here and everyone is complaining. If I wrote a post like this, it would be the total opposite. 🙂

    1. Shayla says:

      Truthfully it’s not even that bad right now — we just got used to having the heat cranked over Christmas with guests in the house (and got a $430 electric bill as a result) and now our normal temperature feels cold. I’m trying to wean off and get back to our old status quo!

      1. Catherine says:

        Ha! It’s like when we have people over in the summer and turn the A/C way down. 🙂

  2. sarah says:

    ha. my whole hatred of winter comes from the fact its flipping dark at 4pm, the goddamn windchill (REALLY? it’s not cold ENOUGH?!) and freezing rain. BECAUSE THAT’S OH SO FUN.

    ‘scuse me. i need to go put on another pair of fuzzy socks.

    1. Shayla says:

      Oh, I HATE the darkness. Can’t wait till its lighter out!

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